Dear Carlos.

I'm sure the only person reading this stupid thing...if you even read it, so I'm dedicating this entry to you! I miss my brown brother quite terribly. I wish we would've made more of an effort to hang out in 2006. I can only imagine the shenanigans we could have cooked up. I mean, you may not remember, but I remember ordering chinese and watching Adam Sandler in your room. That was the beginning of something beautiful.

I would also have more memories of 2008, if we hadn't spent the whole summer wasted. It was so nice getting to Skype with you and letting you see Lucy. She needs to know how to stay hood. I'm trying to show her but you would be helpful. You should absolutely come visit sometime soon. There are lots of people in town who would love to see you. Most importantly though, me and Lucy.

In case you ever get doubtful, I love you more than bears love honey and more than black people don't tip!

I can hear the bells....

It's funny to sit and think that when I started this blog, I had no idea I would be married a few months later. I couldn't be happier than I am with Ben. I just hope that our spur of the moment wedding isn't something we grow to regret doing. I won't have a "wedding dress" to show Lucy when she grows up. I didn't have bridesmaids or a flower girl. When I start thinking things like that I realize how dumb I'm being. Those things don't make a wedding. Ben and I...that's what matters. We are in love. We want to stay together forever. Those are the important things. I shake my head when I hear people say they've been planning their weddings since childhood. How can you plan something without having the only thing that matters, a husband?!!  Bitches be crazy. Even though we didn't have a huge to do, our families were there. Lucy was there, and we professed our love to each other. That's the stuff that matters. I just hope that we raise Lucy to believe the same way....I hope she knows that dresses and flowers and church venues aren't what make a wedding day special. I hope she knows that expensive rings don't guarantee happiness. I hope she knows that Barbie will live just fine without Ken.

Left behind....and I'm not talking Kirk Cameron.

I should have known that everyone is full of crap. Of course before Lucy got here everyone reassured me that things wouldn't change. I knew better. Even though I knew they were blowing smoke up my ass it still stings. I hate seeing that people are out at dinners together and no one thought I would be interested in going. Ben is in Georgia for three weeks with the car leaving Lucy and I to hang out in the house all day for three weeks. I get that people don't want to be hanging out with a baby all the time....I really do, but it still hurts my feelings. A lot.

Speaking of Ben being in Georgia for three weeks. It's pretty much killing me. Not only is my best friend gone, I have no way to get around. I'm constantly relying on people doing me favors and favors are pretty hard to come by these days. I guess I didn't realize how much I needed him around, or how much I relied on him for pretty much everything. Don't get me wrong, Lucy and I are doing just fine without him. I'm in no way just laying around crying, but there is definitely a part of me missing. Lucy can obviously tell that he's gone. She gets really excited when she sees him on Skype. It makes me happy to see her react to him like that.

Aside from feeling left behind by my friends, life is pretty awesome. I love waking up to Lucy's face. I enjoy spending every day with her. Having the weeks off from work has been really good. I can't imagine when I have to put her in daycare. It's definitely something I hope we can avoid. I don't want to miss out on all the cool stuff she does. My mom and grandma are coming to visit next week so there is lots of cleaning to be done. I guess that's how I'll spend my night. Not like there's much else going on for me....